Seeing that we just celebrated the CMA Awards, it only makes sense (no it doesn’t, but play along) that in Week 10 we give out some hardware to the best and most disappointing players in the NFL.
Without further ado, welcome to the CMchat Fantasy Football Hoedown Just A Little More Than Half Season Awards Extravaganza…aka The CFFHJALMTHSAEs. By the way, I fully expect #CFFHJALMTHSAEs to trend this weekend.
As your host, I assure you that I won’t make any “Whitish” or “Blackish” jokes. I’ll stick to my usual “Dumbish” jokes thank you very much.
Best Quarterback: In a category that includes Peyton Manning, Aaron Rogers, Drew Brees and even Matthew Stafford, Andrew Luck has actually put up the best fantasy numbers this year. If you drafted him you, uh, lucked out.
Most Disappointing Quarterback: To be fair, Cam Newton is a fine quarterback on a not so good team. That said he’s been a total fantasy bust this year. He has only thrown eight touchdowns. Heck, Ben Roethlisberger has thrown 12 in the last two games. In the end, I’d rather listen to a Jason Aldean remix cd (please never let that actually happen) than use Newton again.
Best Running Back: This season, without a doubt, DeMarco Murray has been more money than a new Taylor Swift release. He was likely drafted in the third round making him a fantastic value too.
Most Disappointing Running Back: We’ll just skip over the two who have been suspended all or most of the season and head right to the likely No. 1 draft pick in your league: LeSean McCoy. There are currently 18 backs who have put up better numbers than Shady. That list includes two back-ups and a player on the Jets. Not good. He’s been OK, but as far as busts go, he’s almost up there with Dolly’s.
Best Wide Receiver: Another without a doubt No. 1 and value pick (likely drafted in the 4th round) is Antonio Brown. The connection between Brown and Big Ben is about as strong as Garth and Trisha or at least Dan + Shay.
Most Disappointing Wide Receiver: This is a tough one. Percy Harvin hasn’t exactly been money this year and going to the Jets will not help his cause. I really didn’t expect much from this overrated receiver anyway so the award goes to Wes Welker. Going into most drafts you knew the oft concussed receiver was going to sit out due to a drug suspension, yet he was still a second or third round pick in most leagues (not a good value). He’s been more forgotten by Peyton Manning than pedal steel guitars are on country radio stations.
(NOTE: The following awards were handed out pre-show to make more time for yet another Miranda Lambert collaboration)
Best Tight End: Rob Gronkowski
Most Disappointing Tight End: Jason Witten
Best Kicker: Stephen Gostkowski
Most Disappointing Kicker: Who cares? It’s just a kicker.
Best Defense: Philadelphia
Most Disappointing Defense: Seattle
Byes and Hellos
For the second straight week there are six teams who get to kick off their cleats and relax this Sunday. While I’m really happy that players on Indianapolis, Minnesota, New England, San Diego, Washington and Houston will get a break from smacking each others bottoms, it does little to help out fantasy football owners. Make sure you get these guys out of your starting line-ups this week: Andrew Luck, T.Y. Hilton, Reggie Wayne, Ahmad Bradshaw, Trent Richardson, Teddy Bridgewater, Jerick McKinnon, Matt Asiata, Greg Jennings, Tom Brady, Julian Edelman, Brandon LaFell, Rob Gronkowski, Steven Ridley, Shane Vereen, Philip Rivers, Branden Oliver, Malcom Floyd, Antonio Gates, Keenan Allen, Robert Griffin III, Alfred Morris, DeSean Jackson, Pierre Garcon, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Arian Foster, Andre Johnson and DeAndre Hopkins. That’s quite a list. Like I said last week, there likely aren’t a ton of options out there to use as replacements, but there are some players who may be available and can help out this week and possibly beyond. Believe it or not, I like Mark “Butt Fumble” Sanchez in Philadelphia. He did a decent job moving the ball around last week after filling in for Nick Foles and I think that offense will be just fine as long as Sanchez keeps his head away from his linesman’s keisters. Clearly the Jets were more of a problem than Sanchez. Speaking of the Jets, Michael Vick is another option. Maybe not the best option, but an option nonetheless. Owen Daniels is typically solid and although he’s no Gronk he might be able to get you adequate tight end points. After last week’s monster performance, Tampa’s Mike Evans is now a must start at wide receiver. If he’s available in your league get him. As for running backs…at this point in the season you’d have better luck hearing a Dixie Chicks song on the radio.
No Thrills for Takin’ Bills
My Takin’ Bills team is somewhere between dreadful and unlucky. Even when I put up a decent score, like I did last week (99 points is usually money), my opponent dropped 147 points on my sorry behind. At 3-6, my season is all but done (especially since I have the top team this week) so I am in full-on screw-over my friends, spoiler mode. It’s the Christian thing to do. I only made one waiver move this week and that was dropping Washington’s defense (what the hell was I thinking with that one?) and got back Buffalo’s. Thankfully, I don’t have to use Cam Newton anymore. Welcome back Jay Cutler. Jeremy Hill will be my second running back once again this week and should do very well against Cleveland.
That’s all for this week. Hit me up at @sneezeguard for some seemingly sound advice at the time, that will likely blow up in your face come Monday morning.