(Note: Potions of this week’s Hoedown were composed after two and a half hours in an airport bar due to flight delays…so yes, you can say this was in fact written while drunk on a plane…I’m sure Dierks would be proud.)
Welcome to the final week of The Hoedown. If you are still playing, your commissioner is more sadistic than the folks at Big Machine who brought us a Motley Crue country tribute album, because, you know, Rascal Flatts can certainly make “Kickstart My Heart” so much cooler than Vince and the boys ever could.
Listen, I love playing fantasy football, but there is no reason to drag the season into the final week of the regular season. If you’ve made it this far, you have likely done so with players who are on teams that have already clinched a playoff berth and may have even secured a playoff bye and home-field advantage. Those teams have nothing to play for.
So what’s the big deal? Well, those players that you drafted and who brought you to the dance will likely see limited play as coaches aren’t willing to risk losing their key players in a meaningless game (unless the coach is Bill Belichick, who thinks it’s wise playing his oft injured, yet stud tight end on the extra point unit duty in a meaningless game and only to lose him for the playoffs due to, go figure, an injury).
Now with that said, I’m not so sure that many players will be rested in this year’s final week. As I previously mentioned, the Pats will play their guys because their coach has an ego the size of Toby Keith’s bank account, but the rest of the AFC is in a dogfight. In the NFC, the Lions, Cowboys, Packers, Cardinals and Seahawks are still fighting for playoff byes. I would expect all systems are go, so start your players as you normally do, but just keep an eye on your players and their team’s plans for Sunday before finalizing your line-up. Good luck. May your team be better than Brantley Gilbert’s “Girls, Girls, Girls.”
Takin’ Bills Worse Than My Real Bills
In the “epic” battle for seventh place, my Takin’ Bills tanked against the Farce The Music team thanks mostly to the goose egg put up by A.J. Green and the barely there running by Jamaal Charles. Fortunately it means little and we both need to purchase a CD for the league champ (I bought the champ “Dark Side of the Mule” by Gov’t Mule).
Onto, my other teams…My “Little Engine That Could” team that started out the season 0-6 and then won eight straight games to make the playoffs went from “I think I can, I think I can,” to “Eat my dust suckas, eat my dust suckas.” (I may have missed the point of that children’s tale). They won the championship by over 40 points. This is why you never give up after a bad start.
I also had three other teams last week playing for championships and won two of them. So of my eight teams I won three championships, one runner-up and one third place trophy. Not a bad year, if only my money/CD team would have done better. But as my Buffalo Bills brethren are known to say this time of year, “There’s always next year.” There’s always next year.