Welcome to another Country Music #CMchat Fantasy Football Hoedown. My name is Scott, and when I have to pass gas, I try to do so privately, and not in front of a national audience.
Mike Ditka’s denying it, which is a shame. Who hasn’t wanted to fart in Chris Carter’s general direction on live TV?
Goodness Scott, fart jokes and a Monty Python reference in the first four sentences. A new low. C’mon Man! You’re USUALLY better than that. Better get on with the task at hand and leave this stinker of an introduction.
Last week I talked about picking up Ben Roethlisberger to stash for later in the season. How the hell did I forget to mention pick up Dez Bryant too?!?! That’s more obvious than making sure the locker room interview you just filmed doesn’t include bare man parts before broadcasting it on national TV. With talk of Bryant possibly returning this week (I have a hunch he won’t), a lot of owners have probably already picked him up, but you never know. Even without Tony Romo, Bryant is a must start when he returns. He exposes more secondaries than the NFL Network exposes backsides. Yeah, I had to go there twice in one paragraph.
BYE WEEK OF HELL
The NFL schedulers clearly hate fantasy football players as it seems every year there is a Bye Week Of Hell. Week 7, is such week as Green Bay, Cincinnati, Denver and Chicago are “Chillin’ It” like Cole Swindell this week, while fantasy owners struggle to find decent replacements. Make sure these guys are on your bench: Aaron Rogers, Eddie Lacy, James Starks, James Jones, Randall Cobb, Andrew Dalton, Giovani Bernard, Jeremy Hill, Tyler Eifert, Peyton Manning, Ronnie Hillman, Demaryius Thomas, Emmanuel Sanders, Jay Cutler, Matt Forte, Martellus Bennett and Alshon Jeffry. There’s more star power there than at a Taylor Swift birthday party. Between byes and injuries I’ve had to scrape the bottom of the barrel (waiver wire) to fill in for some players (particularly at Wide Receiver). Pierre Garcon, Michael Floyd, Michael Crabtree, and Tavon Austin (who has injury issues as well) were guys I “targeted” in my leagues. I don’t particularly like his chances this week, but Matt Jones is a running back to look at if you’re desperate. Good luck.
TAKIN’ BILLS ROLLS ON
I’m happy to report that my Takin’ Bills team had another dominating week, winning by almost 60 points to bring my record to 3-3 (fifth place)! With the exception of Jeremy Maclin who left the game with a concussion, all of my players met or exceeded their weekly expectations. Of course, Lamar Miller FINALLY played a great game, but he was on my bench due to LeSean McCoy’s return (Shady had a good game though — 90 yards and a touchdown). This week, I’m in for a fight playing the 5-1 first place team who has Devonta Freeman, Todd Gurley, Rob Gronkowski, Keenan Allen and Philip Rivers. Yikes. I get to roll with most of my usuals: Andrew Luck, McCoy, Arian Foster, Antonio Gates and Julian Edelman. Not having Demaryius Thomas will be rough so I signed Pierre Garcon. With Maclin’s status unknown, I was forced to pick up Michael Floyd as an insurance policy.
Before I bid adieu, remember there’s another UK game this week — Buffalo vs. Jacksonville. Again, what did the Brits do to us to deserve “that” game? Oh yeah, One Direction. The game starts at 9:30 AM EDT, so make sure you’re up early to set your rosters.
OK, good y’all in winning Week 7…unless I’m playing you of course. As always, hit me up @sneezeguard with any questions. I’m always around to dole out fantasy advice.