Welcome to another week of the Country Music #CMchat #FantasyFootball Hoedown.
BREAKING NEWS: Desperate to salvage the Dallas Cowboys season while awaiting Tony Romo’s return, owner Jerry Jones has announced the signing of this guy to play quarterback.
Well, at least Luke’s football uniform will leave more to the imagination than his stage clothes.
HALLOWEEN HORROR STORIES
We’re nearing the halfway point in the football season and there are some things going on that are scarier than the thought of Big Smo in a Speedo. Here are 11 mid-season horror stories: Melvin Gordon, Peyton Manning, Bills Defense, Owen Daniels, Roddy White, C.J. Anderson, Demarco Murray, Carlos Hyde, Colin Kaepernick and Mike Evans. Many, people would put Andrew Luck in this category, but he’s consistently getting 20 points a week due to fourth quarter garbage time (remember, it doesn’t matter if the pro team wins, just your fantasy team…take the points any way you can get them). I can see Gordon and Manning turning it around. Evans is showing signs of life too. Note: I purposely didn’t count players like Jamaal Charles, Dez Bryant (who is back now), Tony Romo and Arian Foster in this category because devastating injuries can happen at any time and are simply unfortunate.
BYE WEEK, MORE LIKE BLAH WEEK
This week’s bye teams are about as intimidating as Hunter Hayes in a dark alley late at night. So yes, if you have players on the Bills, Jaguars, Redskins and Eagles, the bye week may actually help you, because there aren’t a lot of players on these teams dominating in fantasy. Regardless, make sure Tyrod Taylor (or EJ Manuel…lol…Who would have him on their team? Buffalo should have left him in London), LeSean McCoy, Sammy Watkins, Charles Clay, Dan Carpenter (yeah, I put in a kicker this week, Dan’s the MAN!), Blake Bortles, T.J. Yeldon, Allen Robinson, Allen Hurns, Julius Thomas, Sam Bradford, Ryan Mathews, DeMarco Murray, Jordan Matthews, Zach Ertz, Kirk Cousins, Alfred Morris, Pierre Garcon, and Jordan Reed are all on the bench where they mostly belong. As for replacements? Charcandrick West looked good last week. I wasn’t too high on him two weeks ago, but that was more due to the uncertainty as to who would be the man in Kansas City. It appears he may be the guy. I picked him up in a league or two just to stash on my bench. At this point in the season, there aren’t a lot of impact players to choose from. If you need to hit the waiver wire, use common sense, check the weekly projections, and go for the guy with the best match-up.
TAKIN’ BILLS HAVE NEW ILLS
Despite putting up a respectable 95 points last week my Takin’ Bills ended up losing by 50 points to the first place team. It happens…a lot when playing that team. I now stand at 3-4 and am in 6th place. I’m still in this. But I have more issues than Randy Quaid. My entire plan this year was to wait until Week 4. That’s when everything would fall into place. I’d get Antonio Gates back from suspension and hopefully Arian Foster (who was injured) to fill in for the unpredictable Lamar Miller. Well, Gates has now been out the last two weeks. And, I got two good weeks out of Foster before he went down with a season-ending injury last week which in hindsight should have been more predictable than a country artist covering either “Friends in Low Places” or “Folsom Prison Blues” during their set. During the two weeks Foster played for me, Miller would have gotten me 17 points in week 6 and a ridiculous 35 points last week (of course). Miller faces the Patriots this week so I’m sure he’ll come back down to single digits now that I need him. As for the rest, hopefully, Jeremy Maclin returns this week (I don’t think I can handle rooting for Pierre Garcon again). With Gates out and Julius Thomas on a bye I had to sign Austin Seferian-Jenkins who is hopefully returning this week (yes, I’m back to carrying three tight ends…I don’t wanna hear it). Doug Martin (who has been surprisingly solid) fills in for LeSean McCoy who is on the bye. Despite it all, I actually have a good shot at winning this week. Fingers crossed.
That’s mostly it for this week. Remember there’s another London game this week so make sure your line-ups are set by 9:30 AM. This week we export another “thriller” – The Lions vs. The Chiefs. And, I’ll use this joke for the last time this season (I’m gonna miss it so), what did the UK do to us that we have to subject them to this game? Oh yeah, Jesus Jones. Good luck, unless I’m playing you this week. Hit me up @sneezeguard with any comments or line-up/trade questions.