[email protected]: Crime Fighter

The Scene: Pita Pita; Hammond, Louisiana.

The Scenario: It’s late at night in Louisiana. Jamie Lynn Spears and her friend are attempting to enjoy an innocent meal at the Subway-esque pita shop. Until … trouble ensues. Have no fear, Jamie Lynn Spears was there to, well, threaten to spear the mortal enemy.

According to local police and the extremely reliable TMZ, Jamie Lynn’s friend was hit with a bottle when a random patron went all cage fight. Instead of standing by and letting things get crazy or daring him to hit her, baby, one more time, Jamie Lynn did what any good friend would do. She strapped on her invisible cape and went into defense mode.

Jamie Lynn grabbed her friend and dragged her behind the Pita Pit counter, proceeded to grab a serrated bread knife, and waved it around to place the fear of a higher power in the assailant. We have all seen what a Spears lady is capable of during a fit of rage while holding a weapon…. If he was smart, he immediately ran the other way.

Based on reports, or lack thereof, the crazed customer left the premises, police arrived on scene, and Jamie Lynn’s friend opted to forego pressing charges. It makes sense that she wouldn’t pursue an arrest and would allow this man to continue to wander the dangerous streets of Hammond, as she was cloaked with bravery thanks to the protective Jamie Lynn Spears.

In all seriousness though, we are glad that everybody is safe, sound, and relatively unharmed, and we applaud Jamie Lynn on her selfless act of defense. It certainly isn’t a bad thing to have friends who can immediately react to adversity and fight a fire with bigger and sharper fire when necessary.

Author: Country Cadre

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